Trichotillomania: Upping the Ante

Trichotillomania update: (Click here to read part 1 and here to read part 2)
Still going strong with not pulling, BUT - I "accidently" pulled a hair out today. I was feeling individual strands, which is my pre-pulling ritual that I still do all the time (but for the last 6 weeks or so haven't actually pulled one out), and one came out in my hand. Not a total cheat, but still made me feel bad.

SO - I am upping my challenge to myself. I desperately want to stop playing with my hair completely. As I'm sure others with Trichotillomania can relate, sometimes I play with my hair to the point that it gives me headaches and my hands hurt from doing the same movement so much. To completely let go of this addiction would feel so freeing... I can't even imagine it. While I was just reading over that paragraph, I started playing with my hairs.

My Plan: To wear a hat in the house. This hat:

"Hello do you sell organic motor oil?"

 Also, I have read in a lot of places to write down every time you do it. Going to be honest, not sure how realistic that is for me, but I will give it a shot. I would say I'll keep track of it on this blog but it seems like a boring thing to share with others. Update soon.

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Ok I wrote down my hair playing times today:

5.34 - played with hair for like 10 seconds while watching jon stewart

8.40pm - played with hair for like 3 mins while on phone with dad (unconscious. once I realized, I stopped)

8.56pm - played with one strand for like a split second, but it was a conscious decision. Like a defiant FUCK YOU, BRAIN! I WANT TO FEEL THIS HAIR DAMMIT.

10.22pm - played with hair for like 15 seconds while watching Bill Maher (unconscious)

I know this seems like a lot of hair-playing, but it's actually a lot better than I normally do. I won't be too hard on myself. Baby steps and all. Plus, on the first three, I wasn't wearing my hat. Must wear hat.

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GRRRRR Another late start today. Had the best of intentions to get up and jog my 3 miles before I escorted my friend to immigration at 9am, but it just didn't happen. Now I have stuff to do til the evening again, so it will have to be another evening jogger.

Food:
9.15am - 2 eggs on brown toast with ham and mushrooms, 1 glass oj, 2 cups coffee
2pm - 1 red bull (hey, it was shopping day)
3pm - a plum
6pm - 1 piece oat bran toast w/ peanut butter and banana
8.30pm - ham and cheese sandwich, lettuce, mayo

Exercise:
4.45pm - 45min dog walk
6.15pm - 3-mile "short" run on treadmill. 378 calories, about 37mins total

My short run was a struggle because my soleus muscles (yes I totally looked that up) are really hurting today (like inner-lower calves). Here's a muscle map, the guy in the drawing is ripped.

Mister Rainbow Muscles!