Promises to Myself About Having Kids Before I'm Even Pregnant (Or: Things I Want to Remember)

I'm getting to the age, as we all do, where everyone around me is having babies. Which is great. But inevitably, it's made me imagine myself having kids. And I do want them. One day. I think. But there are things I'm afraid of. So, this list poured out of me in like 30 minutes. Maybe parts of it are naive, but just take it as an expression of a 27-year-old's list of things she absolutely wants to avoid. At the very least, it's a snapshot of my feelings at this moment in time. I made it into a cool infographic because I'm going to put it on Pinterest. Hopefully it will go viral and I'll become some super famous blogger overnight.

***Disclaimer: I wrote this for me. Myself. I'm not trying to offend anyone who has done these things. I just don't want to do them myself. Is that offensive? Oh well, who cares.  

 

Been awhile...

Can't hide it, it's been awhile. Too long. We are coming to the end of our time in Barbados and I'm not gonna lie - we both have one foot out the door. We're looking into opening our own restaurant in Scotland next year and all of our hopes and dreams hang on a few small details.

It's hard to stay in the moment and focus on what's going on around me when my head is stuck in the future. I think it's a common problem. Not just for me, but for all humans.

But, I've been realizing lately that I need to slow down and focus on the here and now rather than worrying about what the future may or may not bring. There are a million things to worry about and focus on, and I've been neglecting the things that this blog was supposed to help me focus on (diet, exercise, and not pulling my hair).

So, an update. My diet has still actually been pretty good. We still cook almost all of our meals at home from fresh (mostly because we have no choice here). I think I'm generally eating pretty healthy, but there is definitely room for improvement. Exercise - not so good. I still walk my dog every day in the evenings but I'm down to exercising (usually a jog on the treadmill or a swim) 1 - 2 times a week. Lame, I know. Not pulling hair out - terrible. I'm back to doing it. Not worse than ever, but I definitely pull a few out per day.

Stuart and I have vowed to go back on our health regimes starting today, and tomorrow morning we are doing a new routine together - we'll walk the dog in the mornings together before he goes to work and then I'll treadmill him in the evenings so I can jog outside. I hate, hate, hate jogging on the treadmill. I don't know what it is, but it bores the hell out of me. More tomorrow.

A No-Pressure Blog

So, even though I have no marathon as of yet to look forward to, I still want to keep up this blog. I think it's good for me to keep track of what I'm going through in my life. Kind of like a "thoughts" journal (instead of a food/exercise log). I'm not going to pressure myself to write down everything I eat or every bit of exercise I do, because I think that's part of the reason I'm avoiding updating daily at the moment. It's sooo annoying to try and remember/keep logging on here to update everything I've done throughout the day. But, I don't want to keep feeling guilty for not sticking with my marathon plan either. There's nothing I can do about the fact that I definitely won't make it back to Scotland in time for the Loch Ness Marathon. So, there's no reason for me to feel guilty. If I could go, I would have stuck with the plan. And, I WILL find another marathon and complete in within the next year. As soon as we're settled somewhere, I will focus on training and reaching another goal. In the meantime, I will work on keeping up with my diet and exercise the best I can.

I've been doing pretty well still actually. Been cooking in the house a lot (chicken curries, full breakfasts, roast chickens, homemade soups, veggies, sandwiches, and loads of healthy smoothies). Today I went to an 8am Power Vinyasa yoga class, and walked to and from town, and in the evening I will go on the dog walk. So a pretty active day today.

Food:
10am - smoothie with avocado, blueberries, baby bok choy, fresh mint, pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, ground flax seeds, coarse oatmeal, greek yogurt, ice, almond milk
2 cups coffee
3.30pm - bowl of minestrone leftover from yesterday
4.15pm - 1 red bull
7.30pm - 2 pieces multigrain toast w/ butter
9.30pm - sandwich on multigrain bread w/ roast chicken, avocado, parsley, mayo, cheese

Exercise:
2pm - walked to the store and back, 2 miles total
4.30pm - dog walk, 1 hour
8pm - 2 mile short run on treadmill

blahhhhhh

I have to admit. I'm completely off my training. I'm slacking on my blog, and sporadically exercising without keeping track of anything. I don't know what my plan is from here,  but I need to make another workout plan for myself to stick to, and I need to find another goal to work towards, or else I'll end this feeling like I completed nothing.

More on this later.
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Food:
6.45am - 3 scrambled eggs on toast w/ cheese and ham, 1 glass oj, 1 cup coffee
12.30pm - smoothie with avocado, strawberries, blueberries, kale, ice, almond milk, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, chia seeds
throughout day - 2 cups coffee
8.45pm - bowl of homemade minestrone veg soup with squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, kale, garlic, thyme, marjoram, parsley, chicken stock, green onions, canned tomatoes

Really bad news. (and a little bit of good news)

I've been pouting again the last couple days, but this time I have a legitimate excuse.

My husband and I have been looking into getting my visa sorted out for the UK so I can go back in September, and it's looking like:

1. It's going to take at least 3 months to complete my visa and
2. I can't go over without Stuart

Obviously while my visa is being processed, I won't have my passport, so this means it's almost certain I won't be able to race in the Loch Ness Marathon. I can't even describe how majorly bummed I am. I skipped my run on Friday, and then postponed my 12-miler today because I've felt like this was all for nothing. Look at this stupid blog with the stupid title and my stupid face on the right. Lame.

However, the bit of good news is that actually applying for my visa should be an easy and streamlined process, meaning I shouldn't have any problems upon my return to the UK. That's what really matters in the long run anyway. Sigh.

And, I have already started to find some races in Barbados I'll be doing, and I'll try and get on finding another one I can set my sights on in the UK. I know it's out of my control, but it still feels like some sort of personal failure that I can't do anything about. More later.

Food:
9.30am - smoothie with mango, banana, baby bok choy, chia seeds, walnuts, almond milk, ice, greek yogurt
2 cups coffee

4th

Happy 4th everyone!

America! Fuck yeah!

Food:
10am - smoothie with banana, pineapple, mixed berries, baby bok choy, almonds, walnuts, chia seeds, brown rice protein powder, ice, almond milk, greek yogurt
2 cups coffee
throughout day - pineapple, oj, tortilla chips + homemade salsa
7pm - 10pm - bbq - hamburger, chips, salsa, 3 beers

Exercise:
3.30pm - Fartlek training, 30mins, 354 calories
4.45pm - 30 min dog walk

Crap on the internet

God, there is so much bullshit on the internet. In trying to research stuff about nutrition, running, etc, I have found that most people with blogs think they are an expert and just pull words and theories out their asses. I literally just read a woman's blog post about smoothies who said that blending fruit and vegetables "oxidizes" them and removes all the nutrients. Wow. I mean firstly, she doesn't know what oxidizes means. Why would oxidizing something remove nutrients?

This house looks like Hitler:

Heil House?

Food:
5.45am -  1 piece multigrain toast w/ butter
10.15am - smoothie with banana, pineapple, baby bok choy, chia seeds, sunflower seeds, almonds, oatmeal, greek yogurt, ice, almond milk, brown rice protein powder
2 cups coffee
1.30pm - eggs benedict, 1 glass oj
3.45pm - 1 apple
5.30pm - a few bites of potato salad
9.30pm - half a steak, carrots roasted w/ honey, balsamic, salt n pepper, small green salad w/ olive oil, balsamic, goats cheese

Exercise:
6am - 1 hour morning yoga class (easy)
4.30pm - 1 hour dog walk
8pm - 3-mile "Short Run" on treadmill, 377 calories, 33mins (yay!),

Green Smoothies and Motivation

I've been throwing greens into my smoothies lately... spinach, broccoli stems, and today baby bok choi. It's working out, I swear with all the fruit and other stuff I throw in there, I can't even taste it at all. Stuart says he can, but I think he's just being a baby and is also influenced by the fact that it turns the smoothie green. It's a good thing though, because although I don't mind eating greens, I can't really get into eating them raw, and of course cooking them takes out tons of nutrients.

Smoothies are the way forward.

I haven't written about it in awhile, so I thought I'd write an update about how my marathon training is going. It sucks lately! I am still totally sticking with it, which I'm proud of, but I'm just not motivated at all. Every step is a struggle. Compared to the beginning when I couldn't wait to get out the door or get on to the treadmill, it doesn't feel great. I've gone through mini-slumps like this before though, the key is to just suffer through it and I'm sure it will get better.

I've officially passed the 3-month mark as of yesterday, which means I have 3 more to go until my marathon. 3 months is usually when people start training for a marathon, so now is when the essential training really kicks in. Everything before now was just like "training for my training". I can't wait to start doing my runs in cool, fresh Scotland air! Struggling through the intense heat here is good for me I'm sure, but I think cooler weather will be more motivation for me to get out there and train (not to mention a country that has sidewalks on every road). I am very limited here in where I can train, and although I feel very lucky to have this beautiful golf course right next to me to train on, I am freaking sick of it! I wish I could jog to Bridgetown and back - but alas, I'd be roadkill in seconds. Then there's always running on the beach, but beaches don't stretch for very long here. Okay enough rambling.

Food:
10.30am - 1 piece multigrain toast w/ butter
10.45am - smoothie with banana, mango, greek yogurt, ice, almonds, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, baby bok choi, cinnamon, almond milk
2 cups coffee
3pm - sandwich on multigrain bread with ham, cheese, romaine lettuce, mayo, mustard, a few sips of ginger ale

Food update from yesterday (July 1st, 2013)

Food:
10.45am - smoothie with mixed berries (frozen), bananas, broccoli stems, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, almond milk, greek yogurt
12noon - 2 cups coffee
3.30pm - sandwich on multigrain bread with ham, cheddar, lettuce, mayonnaise, mustard, chutney, 1 glass white wine
7.30pm - 1 red bull
9pm - bbq chicken, brussel sprouts with lime + olive oil + peanuts, potato salad w/ onion, mayo, mustard, curry powder, 1 glass white wine
10.30pm - cup of earl grey w/ lemon

DID IT

It's 7am and I just completed my 8 miles. It wasn't too tough actually - I stayed on a flat part of the golf course and went back and forth along the bottom. I know it's not as much as I've been doing, but I'm just relieved I finished without any problems.

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Food:
5am - 1 banana
7.30am - 1 piece multigrain toast w/ butter, 1 spoonful peanut butter
12.30pm - smoothie with banana, mango, spinach, almonds, pumpkin seeds, oatmeal, chia seeds, brown rice protein powder, almond milk, ice, greek yogurt
3.30pm - sandwich on multigrain bread w/ steak, cheese, spinach, onions, mushrooms, brown sauce
8pm - spaghetti with homemade tomato sauce + homemade pesto, parmesean, mushrooms

Exercise:
5.30am - 8 mile "Long Run" outside, didn't time it or anything but it took about 1 hour 30 mins
4.30pm - 30 min dog walk

gnight

Food:
10am - smoothie with spinach, mango,bananas, chia seeds, walnuts, peanuts, greek yogurt, ice, almond milk
-2 cups coffee
2pm - 1 piece multigrain toast w/ butter, ham, 2 scrambled eggs, 1 glass oj
6pm - like 6 cookies and milk
10pm - steak and cheese sandwich on multigrain bread, lettuce, mayo

Exercise:
4.45pm - 1 hour dog walk.

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Trough week, so 8-Mile run tomorrow morning. Going to get up by 4.45 and try and leave the house by 5. On it. Gonna listen to an audiobook I think. See how that goes. Will update tomorrow. Nighty.

Back after my 5-day pout session

Grr. I have been feeling under the weather the last few days, (both mentally and physically) hence no posts. I had another migraine day yesterday, plus I have still felt in a slump about not completing my 11 miles outside like I had planned on Sunday. I have been sticking to my marathon routine however - finished 11 miles on Tuesday as planned, crosstrained on Thursday, going to do 3 short miles tonight on the treadmill. I haven't had much of an appetite the last couple days either. Can't really say I've eaten healthy. A lot of grease, bread, and sugar. Might be another reason I've avoided my blog.

BUT, I am back now. For sure. Definitely. I promise.

10am - eggs benedict, 2 cups coffee
 4.15pm - smoothie with 1 banana, 1 mango, couple handfuls of raw spinach, chia seeds, walnuts, ice, almond milk, greek yogurt, brown rice protein powder
7pm - last bit of homemade chicken fettucini alfredo w/ spinach
8pm - loads of strawberries, blueberries
throughout day - 5 or 6 chocolate chip cookies

Exercise:
4.45pm - 1 hour dog walk
9.45pm - 3 mile short run on treadmill, 34 mins

Half Disaster.

Had a sort of setback on my long run on Sunday, and haven't come back to write about it since then half out of shame, half out of avoidance. I got out there by 5am, still dark out which was great because it was nice and cool, everything was going well, then shortly after the 3-mile mark, I started to feel very faint. My extremities were feeling shaky and I started seeing white before my eyes. I stepped to the side and waited. No change. What was going on? I carbo-loaded the night before with pasta alfredo, before my run I ate a banana and an apple, and loads of water. I decided to go home, eat something else, and see how I felt. Of course, time was slipping away because after 6.30am it gets unbearably hot outside. I tried doing the rest on the treadmill, but the whiteness before my eyes came back.

I ended up just going back to bed. After I finally got up, I felt awful. I totally failed on my scheduled long run for the first time. Stuart mentioned to me that I probably over-did it by going to a really hard yoga session on Saturday, and also not getting enough sleep. He's probably right, but I just felt like I failed and couldn't face writing my blog for the last couple days.

 I decided to take a full rest day on Monday and then do the 11 miles today on the treadmill.

So, here we are. 11 miles on the treadmill will take awhile for me, but luckily I have all day. I know stuff like this is probably inevitable and I just have to keep going. Not everything is going to go exactly as planned and I just have to make up the miles, end of story. Back on it!

You can do it Krystal.

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Completed the 11 miles! Took me longer than it should have because I got a bad little stitch in the back of my left knee, but the point is I completed it. I don't have the exact stats because every time I stopped for a couple minutes, my stupid treadmill reset itself, but I made 11 miles anyway.

Exercise:
11-mile "Long Run" on treadmill, over 2 hours.

Food:
10am - smoothie with mixed berries, avocado, mango, almonds, macadamia nuts, chia seeds, brown rice protein powder, almond milk, ground flaxseed, greek yogurt, maple syrup
2 cups coffee
Throughout day - peanut butter, blueberries, couple pieces of white garlic sourbread toast w/ butter, oj, chocolate chips
8pm - leftover homemade chicken fettucini alfredo w/ spinach, mushrooms, onions, with spaghetti noodles.
11pm - 2 cups coffee

Update from Yesterday, about to do 11-miler

Exercise:
9am - "Mixed Ability" Yoga - 1 hour, 15 mins
4.30pm - 1 hour dog walk

Food:
8.40am - 1 piece multigrain toast w/ butter
10.45am - smoothie with banana, mango, brewed coffee, almonds, chia seeds, brown rice protein powder, ice, greek yogurt, ground flaxseed
snacked on fruit, cheese, nuts and chocolate chips in the afternoon
10pm - homemade Chicken fettuccini alfredo (but I used spaghetti, so I suppose it was chicken spaghetti alfredo) ingredients: butter, mushrooms, onions, garlic, flour, milk, rich sharp cheddar cheese, salt, pepper, nutmeg, spinach, spaghetti noodles.

Total carbo-load last night. I'm typing this at 4.40am on Sunday, about ready to go out for my big 11-miler today. Not nearly as nervous as last week, I know I can do it, just have to go a bit further today. I made fresh english muffins last night and Stuart promised that he'll make me eggs benedict today (as if I don't have that enough). Update in a few hours.

Yesterday's post (June 21, 2013)

10am - smoothie with mango, banana, chia seeds, brown rice protein powder, almonds, greek yogurt, almond milk, coarse oatmeal, ice
2pm - sandwich on multigrain bread w/ roast chicken, spinach, mayo, cheese, half a ginger ale
6.30pm - 4 pieces multigrain toast w/ homemade orange and mango jam and goats cheese
throughout night: 1 cup coffee, blueberries, peanut butter, orange juice, water

Exercise:
1pm - 4 mile "short run" on treadmill - 46mins, 495 calories
4.45pm - 1 hour dog walk

Ran faster today! Kept switching between 6mph and 5mph. And, I ran the whole time. So I averaged about 11.5 minute miles, which I know isn't impressive at all, but it's a big improvement for me.

Must Run Faster.

Food:
9am - smoothie with almonds, banana, mango, coarse oatmeal, walnuts, chia seeds, brown rice protein powder, almond milk, greek yogurt, ice
10am - 2 cups coffee
12.30pm - 1 piece toast, couple spoonfuls peanut butter

Throughout evening: pineapple, blueberries, toast with goats cheese and homemade orange and mango jam

10pm - roast chicken, mashed sweet potatoes with olive oil, butter, salt n pepper, roast carrots in honey and balsamic

Exercise:
1pm - 30mins Fartlek - 33 mins total, 2.77 miles, 322 calories 

4.45pm - 45min dog walk


I tried to go to my yoga class this morning. Walked all the way there, and it was locked. Turns out it was held at some hotel further north up the island. Oh well. Will try again tomorrow.

I've been reading a lot of stuff online about running and it seems to me that I'm running way too slowly. I read things like "A 12-minute mile isn't shameful near the end of your 16-mile run". I'm lucky if I maintain 12-minute miles at the beginning. I thought it was because I'm short, but I've read forums where women are saying they're 5'2" and running at around 6.2mph. For me, 6.2mph on the treadmill feels like nearly top speed. Nevertheless, on my Fartlek training today I ran 6mph on the 4-minute runs, and hung around 4.5 on the "light jogs". But, by 15 - 20 minutes I was shattered and had to take walk breaks instead of light jogs. I don't think the damn thing is accurate. I've done the math and at this rate, I'll be lucky to complete the marathon in under 5 and a half hours. I know all that matters is finishing, and I know I'm only like halfway through my training, so that's encouraging at least.

At least Ditmars isn't worried about it.

Late again

Starting to write this update at 11.50pm tonight. Totally slipped my mind again til now. 

Exercise: 

4.30pm - 45min dog walk

Food:

9am - smoothie with mango, pineapple, almonds, Greek yogurt, oatmeal, chia seeds, almond milk, ice

2 cups coffee

1pm - 2 pieces toast w/ butter, 1 red bull

4pm - sandwich on multigrain bread w/ ham, cheese, lettuce, beets, mayo

6pm - 9pm shitloads of popcorn w/ butter, truffle oil, salt

Maybe like 12 pineapple chunks. 

11pm - another sandwich same as earlier

Damn that's a shitload of eating today. Mostly crap too. I chose not to do my scheduled run today because I'm still very sore from running and yoga earlier in the week, but I'm going to yoga tomorrow morning as well as jogging to make up for it.  

Whole... body... hurts....

After I wrote "duh I don't feel sore today duhh" yesterday, my entire body is screaming at me today. Stuart is sore as well today because he's been hitting the gym Mondays with his friend from work. I think when my body was still recovering from the 10-miler, I went and did the Power yoga and it was a bit too much. It's a good thing though. Need to build up my strength.

Food:
9.45am - smoothie with mango, pineapple, almonds, walnuts, chia seeds, brown rice protein powder, greek yogurt, almond milk, ice
2 cups coffee
1pm - eggs benedict, 1 glass oj
evening - 2 pieces toast, bowl of pineapple
9pm - bowl of spaghetti with homemade sauce, parmesan
12midnight - 1 cup earl grey w/ lemon

Recovery Day

Food:
7.30am - a few spoonfuls peanut butter, an apple
10am - a portion of leftover lasagne

2pm - sandwich on multigrain bread with ham, beets, cheese, lettuce, mayonnaise, mustard

Evening - another piece of lasagne

8.30pm - 2 burritos with cheese, beans, beef, tomatoes, onion, lettuce, salsa, avocado, 2 glasses white wine

Exercise:
8am - Power Vinyasa yoga, 1 hr 15 mins
12.45pm - walked to stores in town and back - about 2 miles

5pm - 45min dog walk

Surprisingly, I don't feel too sore today. My left knee felt like it was going to give out last night and I was actually limping for a couple hours, but then it loosened up and felt fine. Got up early and went to a killer yoga class this morning. I know I'll really be feeling it tomorrow and need my full rest day.

Monday weigh-in: 119