Promises to Myself About Having Kids Before I'm Even Pregnant (Or: Things I Want to Remember)

I'm getting to the age, as we all do, where everyone around me is having babies. Which is great. But inevitably, it's made me imagine myself having kids. And I do want them. One day. I think. But there are things I'm afraid of. So, this list poured out of me in like 30 minutes. Maybe parts of it are naive, but just take it as an expression of a 27-year-old's list of things she absolutely wants to avoid. At the very least, it's a snapshot of my feelings at this moment in time. I made it into a cool infographic because I'm going to put it on Pinterest. Hopefully it will go viral and I'll become some super famous blogger overnight.

***Disclaimer: I wrote this for me. Myself. I'm not trying to offend anyone who has done these things. I just don't want to do them myself. Is that offensive? Oh well, who cares.  

 

Been awhile...

Can't hide it, it's been awhile. Too long. We are coming to the end of our time in Barbados and I'm not gonna lie - we both have one foot out the door. We're looking into opening our own restaurant in Scotland next year and all of our hopes and dreams hang on a few small details.

It's hard to stay in the moment and focus on what's going on around me when my head is stuck in the future. I think it's a common problem. Not just for me, but for all humans.

But, I've been realizing lately that I need to slow down and focus on the here and now rather than worrying about what the future may or may not bring. There are a million things to worry about and focus on, and I've been neglecting the things that this blog was supposed to help me focus on (diet, exercise, and not pulling my hair).

So, an update. My diet has still actually been pretty good. We still cook almost all of our meals at home from fresh (mostly because we have no choice here). I think I'm generally eating pretty healthy, but there is definitely room for improvement. Exercise - not so good. I still walk my dog every day in the evenings but I'm down to exercising (usually a jog on the treadmill or a swim) 1 - 2 times a week. Lame, I know. Not pulling hair out - terrible. I'm back to doing it. Not worse than ever, but I definitely pull a few out per day.

Stuart and I have vowed to go back on our health regimes starting today, and tomorrow morning we are doing a new routine together - we'll walk the dog in the mornings together before he goes to work and then I'll treadmill him in the evenings so I can jog outside. I hate, hate, hate jogging on the treadmill. I don't know what it is, but it bores the hell out of me. More tomorrow.

A No-Pressure Blog

So, even though I have no marathon as of yet to look forward to, I still want to keep up this blog. I think it's good for me to keep track of what I'm going through in my life. Kind of like a "thoughts" journal (instead of a food/exercise log). I'm not going to pressure myself to write down everything I eat or every bit of exercise I do, because I think that's part of the reason I'm avoiding updating daily at the moment. It's sooo annoying to try and remember/keep logging on here to update everything I've done throughout the day. But, I don't want to keep feeling guilty for not sticking with my marathon plan either. There's nothing I can do about the fact that I definitely won't make it back to Scotland in time for the Loch Ness Marathon. So, there's no reason for me to feel guilty. If I could go, I would have stuck with the plan. And, I WILL find another marathon and complete in within the next year. As soon as we're settled somewhere, I will focus on training and reaching another goal. In the meantime, I will work on keeping up with my diet and exercise the best I can.

I've been doing pretty well still actually. Been cooking in the house a lot (chicken curries, full breakfasts, roast chickens, homemade soups, veggies, sandwiches, and loads of healthy smoothies). Today I went to an 8am Power Vinyasa yoga class, and walked to and from town, and in the evening I will go on the dog walk. So a pretty active day today.

Food:
10am - smoothie with avocado, blueberries, baby bok choy, fresh mint, pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, ground flax seeds, coarse oatmeal, greek yogurt, ice, almond milk
2 cups coffee
3.30pm - bowl of minestrone leftover from yesterday
4.15pm - 1 red bull
7.30pm - 2 pieces multigrain toast w/ butter
9.30pm - sandwich on multigrain bread w/ roast chicken, avocado, parsley, mayo, cheese

Exercise:
2pm - walked to the store and back, 2 miles total
4.30pm - dog walk, 1 hour
8pm - 2 mile short run on treadmill

blahhhhhh

I have to admit. I'm completely off my training. I'm slacking on my blog, and sporadically exercising without keeping track of anything. I don't know what my plan is from here,  but I need to make another workout plan for myself to stick to, and I need to find another goal to work towards, or else I'll end this feeling like I completed nothing.

More on this later.
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Food:
6.45am - 3 scrambled eggs on toast w/ cheese and ham, 1 glass oj, 1 cup coffee
12.30pm - smoothie with avocado, strawberries, blueberries, kale, ice, almond milk, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, chia seeds
throughout day - 2 cups coffee
8.45pm - bowl of homemade minestrone veg soup with squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, kale, garlic, thyme, marjoram, parsley, chicken stock, green onions, canned tomatoes

Really bad news. (and a little bit of good news)

I've been pouting again the last couple days, but this time I have a legitimate excuse.

My husband and I have been looking into getting my visa sorted out for the UK so I can go back in September, and it's looking like:

1. It's going to take at least 3 months to complete my visa and
2. I can't go over without Stuart

Obviously while my visa is being processed, I won't have my passport, so this means it's almost certain I won't be able to race in the Loch Ness Marathon. I can't even describe how majorly bummed I am. I skipped my run on Friday, and then postponed my 12-miler today because I've felt like this was all for nothing. Look at this stupid blog with the stupid title and my stupid face on the right. Lame.

However, the bit of good news is that actually applying for my visa should be an easy and streamlined process, meaning I shouldn't have any problems upon my return to the UK. That's what really matters in the long run anyway. Sigh.

And, I have already started to find some races in Barbados I'll be doing, and I'll try and get on finding another one I can set my sights on in the UK. I know it's out of my control, but it still feels like some sort of personal failure that I can't do anything about. More later.

Food:
9.30am - smoothie with mango, banana, baby bok choy, chia seeds, walnuts, almond milk, ice, greek yogurt
2 cups coffee

4th

Happy 4th everyone!

America! Fuck yeah!

Food:
10am - smoothie with banana, pineapple, mixed berries, baby bok choy, almonds, walnuts, chia seeds, brown rice protein powder, ice, almond milk, greek yogurt
2 cups coffee
throughout day - pineapple, oj, tortilla chips + homemade salsa
7pm - 10pm - bbq - hamburger, chips, salsa, 3 beers

Exercise:
3.30pm - Fartlek training, 30mins, 354 calories
4.45pm - 30 min dog walk